Boulder and the Beautiful

Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman

Confession: I have no idea how to say the name of this store: Bebe.
Every time I say it, I feel really stupid. I feel presumptuous and silly, like a middle-school theater student trying to fake a British accent.
Bee-bee? Baybay? Baby? Bi-bi? Beeb?
Needless to say, when I got this e-mail today, I nearly went into convulsions.

Subject: bebe, BEBE SPORT, & 2b bebe: 25% off Friends & Family Event

How many times can you say this most awkward of all words in one sentence?
Regardless of my speaking disabilities, the e-mail content was pretty “sick” (That’s what all the hip youths say these days… I think.)
Check it out:

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I’m broke, you’re broke, we’re all broke.
As it turns out, I am quite the scavenger. You might call me a hunter. Wily and agile. And I plan on fighting my way through this recession/depression/hype/natural economic cycle/End Times/whatever.

That’s why I have started a new feature. I will start sharing with you the good deals I spot. Do I want to share these secrets with you? Why, of course. You’re good enough, smart enough, broke enough and doggone it, you keep me employed.

So here’s what I can offer you today, fair friends.

What: “Beautiful Party.”
Cost: No cover. 21 and up.
Why this is cool: Ladies, come get pampered! Free beauty care, including cheek and lip enhancements, airbrush tanning and a make-up artist.  $5 champagne specials.
When: This Saturday.
Where: Wish Nightclub, 511 W. Colfax (Colfax and Glenarm), in Denver.
Info: www.wish-nightclub.com. Presented by Lagunes Communications Strategy Group.

A two-part question.

Part one: If your new boss looks exactly like Conan O’Brien, at what point is it appropriate to tell him?

Things to consider: Lack of knowledge about his sense of humor; Halloween costumes; possibly unleashing a wild torrent of humor that may completely dishevel the entire office; the fact that he might already know this and be either very proud of this, or very annoyed by it; the liklihood that if you wait it out and get to know him better, he won’t really look like Conan anymore; live late-night entertainment; a tabloid scoop about Conan’s “day job.”  

Part two: What is the most appropriate way to express this pent-up fact?
A. Throw it into the conversation. “Sure, I can get that done by Thursday good show last night and I will get those photos assigned, too.”
B. Via e-mail, such as “Hey Conan, so here are those TPS reports…”
C. Via e-card, such as one that says, “You look exactly like Conan.” I crafted a brilliant one on someecards.com but they have that site fancied up so I can’t figure out how to post it here.
D. Casually send him this blog. If he doesn’t think it’s funny, be like, “What? Gosh, wait, what, oh you thought I was talking YOU? Oh my gosh, NOOOO, of course not, gee. I was talking about … my friend told me she has this boss who… ha, yeah, funny that you would even think I meant you, because, duh, obviously, you don’t at all, you’re totally more like David Letterman…? NO, I mean Jay… no? No. You’re right. I should go home now.”

I think I’m going with D.
Wish me and my holiday bonus (or soon-to-be retracted bonus) luck.

And on that note, let it be known that I think Conan is REALLY, REALLY GOOD LOOKING, but in a completely professional and respectable way.

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A reporter here regularly wears a helmet while writing.
Just FYI.

As if it’s not bad enough that my boyfriend is obsessed with football, now my dog?
http://www.nflshop.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2942178&cp=2237417
Custom pet jersey, $39.99

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Need Halloween inspiration?
The Ritz has released it’s favorite costumes this year:

* Rockstar
* Political candidates, especially Sarah Palin
* Sexy firefighters
* Beer girls
* Golden Buddhas
* Queen of hearts
* Punk rock
* Gothic
* Tattoos
* Indiana Jones
* Heavy metal rocker
* Batman
* Poison Ivy
* ’80s
* Vegas swingers in white platform boots with goldfish in heels
* Funky disco and pimp daddies with velvet and animal-print. Lots of gold chains over a fake hairy chest.
* Plenty of Elvis sightings and the ever-popular Marilyn
* Fairies
* Drag queens
* Superheroes
* Naughty school-girls
* Pregnant nuns

Then the other night, my friends and I were trying to brainstorm ideas for our friend, Molly. Here is what we came up with:
* Susan, George Castanza’s fiance from “Seinfeld,” who died licking envelopes.
* The mom from American Dad
* Towlie from “South Park” 
<a href=”http://photobucket.com/images/towlie” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq255/scoaster/towlie.jpg” border=”0″ alt=”towlie Pictures, Images and Photos”></a>
* Ms. Pac Man
* Ren and Stimpy
* Rocky and Bullwinkle
* Rock of Love
* A character from “Lost” (but mostly because we’re obsessed with the show)
* Sarah Silverman
* A midget in a bucket (don’t ask)
* A lion, with ratted big hair and gold body paint
* Flava Flave
* Mr. T
* Alf
* Marge Simpson
* A poodle
* Rainbow Bright
* Someone else at the party

Then we started thinking about costumes we could make out things we already have in our closets. We came up with:
* A can-can girl
* A ballerina
* A motorcycle racer
* An ’80s prom queen
* “Carrie” the bloody prom queen
* A Vargas cowgirl
* A hot dog.

OK, not a hot dog, but somehow hot dogs always come up in our conversations.

One of my favorite costumes of Halloween pasts was a friend who dressed up like a carnival game: a piece of carboard with balloons stuck all over it. He carried darts and let people play his game/costume for $1. Fun, yet dangerous. Although no one lost an eye.

Replace your Southwestern-print vests, apple applique sweatshirts, wacky buttons and sweater vests!

 Fresh Produce is having a special teacher shopping promotion 5-7 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 23. Teachers receive 20 percent off the entire store and are eligible to win a $100 gift certificate.

 
See? Look at this nice lady. She could be a teacher. But she’s hot. Hot for teacher. It’s a song. Learn it. Sing it.  

Check out www.freshproducesportswear.com for some fashion ideas.
Oh, and before you get mad at me for knocking teacher style, please know that once I sat in and sort of helped a class and stuff, so I’m pretty much a teacher, so I have the right to make fun. (I did wear a sweater vest with a special kitty cat design on it that day.) (Another teacher had the same outfit as me; it was soooo awkward.)

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www.coffeecover.etsy.com

Cute and reusable coffee covers made by two Boulder roommates.
I guess the only irony is: Why use reusable coffee covers on disposable cups?
Instead, just buy them for the cute factor. And the fact that the cardboard ones never fit right and slide around and have a gross texture.

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A Dutch town has decided to help prostitutes off the streets, one makeover at a time.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2008/10/10/prostitution/index.html