I’m sitting down to Chinese with my friend, Jamie. I notice her nice red nail polish. I ask her what color it is.
Her response, “I’m not really a waitress.”
Me: “I know. I wasn’t insinuating your polish looked like you were. I was just asking…”
Jamie: “No. I’m not really a waitress.”
It was one of those “Who’s on first moments,” until I finally got it. Her nail polish color was “I’m Not Really A Waitress” red.

Which prompted me to make a list of the best and worst nail polish names out there.

Best
Vodka and Caviar 
Kangarooby (I would just wave my nails around all day until someone asked me what color they were)
20 Candles on my Cake
OP-I Love This Color (by OPI, of course)
Who Comes Up With These Names?
Aphrodite’s Pink Nightie
Chocolate Shake-Speare
Dress to Empress
Silent Mauvie
Nice Color, Eh?

Worst
An Affair in Red Square
Cosmo-Not Tonight Honey (what color is that? like green?)  
Cajun Shrimp
Mrs. O’Leary’s BBQ
Nantucket Mist
And the worst nail polish name ever: You’re a Pisa Work