A vent:  

I was starving yesterday but the only money I could find in my desk drawer was 50 cents. I went to the vending machine. The only thing I could afford was gum. So I sat there in the break room chewing piece by piece of gum - my lunch - while staring at the vending machines longingly.
Then I noticed there are frozen pancakes in the vending machine. Who eats pancakes from a vending machine at work? Reminds me of how former science reporter Todd Neff used to eat cereal out of a bowl at our stand-up meetings. Except worse - and there’s not even syrup.
Of course, always when I think there is something in the vending machine no one would ever eat, I find out Vanessa eats it every day.
Regardless, I am thinking instead of the annual company picnic kickball game, we should have a contest who can eat the grossest objects from the vending machine. Obviously Vanessa would be excluded because of her edge; she’s been practicing too extensively.