So my uterus hates me. I almost went to the hospital today from its shenanigans. I couldn’t stand up straight, much less write highly important news stories about fashion.
I took a nearly deadly amount of pain killers and muscle relaxers, but it didn’t help. At all. Even remotely. I drank tea, I stretched, I laid on the ground – yes, in the office. I even texted my sister for sympathy, but not even her heartfelt ”awwwww” helped.

My jeans were antagonizing me, so I went to the store and bought the first pair of sweatpants I saw. They were like 15 times the price that I would normally pay for sweats (or a car), but I did not care about anything. Plus, dang, they were cute. It was a good excuse. It was for HEALTH. I even considered using my Health Savings Account money, except I have no clue how to access it, and I’m not even exactly sure what it is.

Shortly after putting on the cute sweatpants, my cramps…… vanished.

Don’t ever, ever, ever tell me that clothes don’t serve a greater purpose.

Placebo effect? I don’t care; I can function now. And the cost of the sweats was less than an ER bill.
Now that I think about it, my head kind of hurts. I think I need new shoes.

These are similar to my cute sweatpants, which contain medicinal properties and have been used since ancient times to heal evil-hater-death uteruseseses… uteri?

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