Boulder and the Beautiful

A lot of things.

If 50 percent of the folks will tolerate you, then I consider that success. Nothing ever worth doing is done for popularity.

Here is something I just ran across that I thought I should post here to boost my PR. Because if I don’t do it, God knows no one else will.

Every Friday I read Aimee Heckle’s column in the Camera. She writes about fashion. One look at me and you’d wonder why I would read such a column. Here’s why: I love her writing. It is said (I can’t remember by whom) that any content is interesting when written by a good writer. I offer her blog link. Give her a read: http://boulderandthebeautiful.com/

Thanks VernaWilder.typepad.com, a woman who “gave up a Cube job for the limitless chaos and promising instability of the writing life.”

Promising instability? Oh Verna, it’s not promising. It’s guaranteed! Trust me. I just tried to pay bills. This process used to be depressing, but at some point, desperation must morph into hilarity — for survival.  So I laugh and eat Spaghetti Oh’s until payday. (Except for tonight, which is special: Spaghetti Oh’s with meat hunks.)

I am writing about the cost of clutter for Sunday’s Daily Camera, in honor of Get Organized month.
Here are a few gorgeous inspirations to help keep your clutter in check.

Butterfly jewelry holder, $70, www.etsy.com/shop/sarahlizzytish

Double flower hook, $16, Urban Outfitters.

Birdcage wire jewelry holder, $28, Urban Outfitters

Jewelry frame, $38, Urban Outfitters.

Brigitta dresser, $798, Anthropologie.

Magnetic bathroom jars, $28, www.etsy.com/shop/GneissSpice

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I’ve seen a lot of tattoos. Nothing surprises me anymore.
Except these. Here are some tattoo ideas I found at www.fuckyeahtattoos.tumblr.com (sorry about the name) that I have never seen before.

1. Lamp post.

2. Bowl of oranges.

3. Jelly fish.

4. Buttons.

5. Wish bone.

6. Squid sleeve.

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I hate writing “LOL” because 99 percent of the time, I’m not actually laughing out loud, but just wanting to inject some sort of lighthearted emotion into an electronic communication.

However, when I saw these cat ornaments, I straight-up Pillsbury Doughboyed.

$6.75
www.etsy.com/shop/oldworldprimitives

I think they’re so funny to me because the first one’s body actually looks like my poodle’s body.

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$40

Looking for a creative, easy and inexpensive way to decorate your house? Forget wallpaper. Check out these awesome wall graphics.

$35 at www.whatisblik.com

Mona Prankster: $45 at www.whatisblik.com.

$55 at www.whatisblik.com.

$60 at www.whatisblik.com.

$45 at www.whatisblik.com.

$40 at www.whatisblik.com.

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I wrote a fashion column last week about gag gifts and “creative gifts so amazing they can end family quarrels.”

No gag gifts this year. Grandma’s orders. The mass e-mail threw me off guard. The Heckel family has a long-standing tradition of Christmas gags — the supreme of which was always saved for the extended-family brown bag exchange.

A “vintage” 3-foot-tall Sammy Winder Broncos lamp. A pet coconut (similar to a pet rock but bigger and more annoying to store). Former state Sen. Stan Matsunaka’s face glued to a can of tomatoes.

Why tomatoes? Why not? The specifics of the gags remained a mystery. But one thing was for sure: We took pictures of them. We laughed until we cried. We regifted them. And we remembered them.

Read the rest here:  www.dailycamera.com/archivesearch/ci_13916860?IADID=Search-www.dailycamera.com-www.dailycamera.com

Ah yes. The crappy gifts that totally rock in their badness. Check out this Web site and vote on the worst gifts ever: www.lottay.com/worstgiftever.

Here are some  highlights, to uninspire you this holiday season:

Scary. Terrifying.

It’s perfume on the biggest damn necklace you’ve ever seen.

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Few things tickle me more than bad art.
That’s why I enjoy Judah Friedlander, that funny hairy dude from “30 Rock” who urinates in jars and keeps them in his office. He also collects bad art.

Here are a few highlights from Judah Friedlander’s bad art gallery (http://judahfriedlander.com/gallery.htm):

You can’t tell if this guy is a serial killer or the high school star quarterback. Or both.

An artist selling his art. The true artist doesn’t need to go to some fancy, pretentious art gallery. Just pile your sculptures of feline animals into your car, and put them on display. I respect anyone who sells art outdoors at night in a tiny parking lot. And I respect the person who buys art there too. Outdoor art galleries should be more popular.

If you want to laugh extremely hard:
http://judahfriedlander.com/videos/fallon2.htm
http://judahfriedlander.com/videos/fallon1.htm

Did you know there is is not one, not two, but MULTIPLE actual museums of bad art?

From the Museum of Bad Art (www.museumofbadart.org):

A remarkable fusion of ski resort and wolf puppy — stoical in his yellow-eyed silence, frozen beneath the ice-capped peak, Dog eloquently challenges the viewer to re-examine old concepts of landscape.

Larger than life, she purrs with her big bedroom eyes open wide in anticipation, “Hello boys.” Bianka knew, the more hair the better.

From the Official Bad Art Museum of Art (OBAMA) (www.officialbadartmuseumofart.com):

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Do not view this if you are eating breakfast, about to eat breakfast, if you ever want to eat breakfast again or if you are going to be hypersensitive and send me hate mail about it.

My sister is planning my baby shower. Here are some dessert ideas she has found on the Internet.

Fetus cookies

C- section cake

Or this fetus cake, which I cannot even bring myself to post on this page, so I will just share the link:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2075/1869539715_a385ba9883.jpg?v=0

When I saw this, I literally screamed out loud. I tried to brush it off like I was singing, but the tears pouring from my eyes gave me away.

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This Web site is The Source for “As Seen on TV” and “Unseen on TV” products. (Not sure what that last one means.)
In other words, all of the items you never knew that you didn’t need!
www.inventhelpstore.com
Also great if you’re looking for horrible Christmas gifts or great gag gifts. (See my fashion column in the Daily Camera’s Friday Magazine this Friday.)

Highlights include:
1. Ear Cuffies, $4.95.
Protective ear covers to prevent burns while styling hair.

2. The FilterPik, $1.
“Coffee filters sticking together is one of those little inconveniences that can drive people crazy.” This makes it easy for you to pick up one filter at a time.

3. The Toe Saver 2000, $9.95.
Semi-circular foam pieces to stick on your bed frame legs so you won’t stub your toe on them.

4. Pillow Talk, $89.99.
Basically an overpriced pillow case with a special pocket where you can stick a “musical device” and play it over speakers. Yeah, speakers. On your ears. While you sleep. Playing music. Sounds soothing and totally worth $90.

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