I just spotted the Western Hemiphere’s two top queen cougars in Marshall’s. One in head-to-toe hot pink. The other in head-to-toe leopard print (an obvious camo attempt to fool its prey into thinking it is another feline relative). 
After buying more leopard print and pink items, they sat on the  bumper of their suburban smoking cigs and talking loudly about buying Two Buck Chuck for their next big party. When my twentysomething boyfriend walked past, they growled at him and called him “honey,” “lover” and “honey-lover.” His eyes widened in terror. He wogged aqap (as quickly as possible) to the car without looking in their direction.
I didn’t speak either. I wanted to take a photo, but I was afraid the flash would scare them, causing them to lunge at me, and God knows I couldn’t have won such a cat fight. My claws could never be sharp enough to penetrate the overly tanned elephant hide skin.
So I blog… to immortalize them here. Enjoy your Chuck, ladies. Growl on.