Boulder and the Beautiful

After my friend, Kym, moved to New York, she got her first tattoo, of the Colorado state flower, the columbine.
Kym’s tat shortly after getting needled, hence the redness.

She had know for years what she wanted to get, but she couldn’t decide where.
Where to ink yourself can be just as difficult to decide as what you want to permanently brand yourself with.
Kym got her tattoo higher up on her back so she could avoid the so-called “tramp stamp” (see definitions here: www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tramp+Stamp&page=2), in the same way that many guys today fear the tribal arm band.
A typical male species of the Tribalus Armbandius genus.

And on the topic of tramp stamps, Lewis and Floorwax on 103.5 are currently collecting photos of these lower-back tats for a gallery: www.thefox.com/pages/lewisandfloorwax-index.html

As a lover of all thinks artsy and inky, I have a hard time frowning on any kind of tattoo — even if it does look like a black hairy patch just above your underwear line when you sit down.
Who am I to speak? I have a back region tattoo myself, on my hip. It’s just three inches to the right of a stamp of disapproval.

It has been nearly a year since my last tattoo, obviously time to get another. So I’ve been browsing.
Here is a countdown of my top 10 favorite celeb tattoos:

10. Justin Timberlake’s chest ink in “Alpha Dog.” (Too bad it wasn’t permanent.)

9. Fairuza Baulk’s bicep triangle, although it is a little “futuristic.” I kind of expect her to open her mouth and turn into a screaming alien. But I like the simplicity for this location on a girl.

8. Rihanna’s ear tattoo. An interesting idea, if you’re one of those folks who insists you have to be able to hide your marking.

7. Christina Aguilera’s tattoo on her “elbow pit.” And not just because I wanted to say “elbow pit.” I like words, and these are beautiful in red. Whatever they say.

6. Alyssa Milano’s wrist tat. Simple.

5. Kat Von D’s starry temple. Beautiful, although I would never be brave enough.

4. David Beckham’s forearm tattoo. Forearms are one of the most gorgeous body parts on a man. Just as Beckham is the most gorgeous man.

3. Angelina Jolie’s neck and shoulder tattoos. I like how they look together.

4.  Rich Boy, with a Bible verse on his right pec and a sexy proliferation of forearm tattoos.

5. Megan Fox, the girl from “Transformers.” I love the little story she tattooed on her rib cage.

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Looks like Patagonia is opening up on the Pearl Street Mall.
So is prAna.

www.dailycamera.com/news/2007/sep/19/patagonia-coming-pearl-street-mall/

This is great news because, until now, I had no idea where to go to get my outdoor activewear in Boulder.

On another almost-related (because of the fleece) note:
Why didn’t someone tell me they make footie pajamas for dogs? Do they make these in size “poodle?”

The Web site calls it a doggie “jogging suit.”
Now, I would bet my dog’s Burberry collar that they had to Photoshop that dog’s head on this picture. Because seriously, I can’t imagine any dog standing still (i.e. not leaping hysterically trying to break free) in these things for long enough to get such a lovely and serene pose.

As for all of you Boulderites who already own a doggie jogging suit, you can order more online here: www.northcoastmarines.com/muttopia_jogger.htm

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Crocs are bad, mmmkay?
Crocs are dangerous.
Don’t wear Crocs.
Don’t subject your children to Crocs.
Don’t subject society to Crocs.

www.dailycamera.com/news/2007/sep/08/crocs-takes-credit-for-escalator-awareness/

It comes as no shock that oversized plastic clown shoes are not suitable for modern society. Not only can they get stuck in escalators, rip off  your tootsies and probably kill you (probably, maybe, possibly?), or at least start a riot and ignite natural disasters, Crocs are dangerous for the eye and can cause burning, tearing up and, on extreme occasions (i.e. bright green Crocs or Crocs with peace-symbols stuck in the Croc-holes) blindness.

If you get some Crocs in your eyes, wash with warm water. Not your eyes, the darn hippies wearing the ugly things.

And please, for the safety of society, keep your gardening shoes in the garden. Or better yet, in the trash can.

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When I first heard this on the radio, I thought it was one of those fake talk shows. Because, really, our lawmakers have much bigger issues to tackle… right?
Apparently not.

“Are your jeans sagging? Go directly to jail.”
www.nytimes.com/2007/08/30/fashion/30baggy.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin

Someone needs to let our lawmakers know that they are not the fashion police.
Trust me, fools. You do NOT want me on your back, making mindless stereotypes with legal consequences, judging how you look.

Exploiting the judicial system to punish people on how they look is a little too Hitleresque for me.
And I don’t even own a pink power-suit.

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The Mrs. America Pageant is looking for the new Mrs. Boulder.
Mrs. Boulder will move on to compete for Mrs. Colorado on May 17 in Denver.
Who will compete for Mrs. America.
You know how it, such as, goes.

Qualifications: You must live or work in the Boulder area, be married, be a resident of Colorado for at least six months, be a U.S. citizen and at least 18. There is no age limit. And you don’t need any, such as, ”performing talent.”

As a Mrs. competitior, you will be urged to voice your opinions on marriage and the important issues of the day. Such as.

I’m hoping the Mrs. models will be better versed than Miss Teen USA. I’m sure you all saw the “maps, such as” question with Miss South Carolina: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

But did you see this?
Look at what good has come out of this incident: www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzDS3i4vv6w.

Or this? Before you judge, at least listen to her and let her set the record straight: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ET-icmlM-Q0
A more in-depth look at the incident: www.youtube.com/watch?v=yB8kgdvbVNg

Oh yeah, and the Mrs. Colorado pageant… check this out for more info:  www.mrscolorado.com.

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Maybe this will help you learn how to tie your tie. A Boulder dude launched a new Web site, www.sexytie.com, to walk you through it using beautiful ladies.

This is not one of said Boulder ladies, but she is wearing a tie (sort of), and she’s hot.

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I have a little brother. So occasionally, while growing up, I would be walking across the house and feel the breath-stealing pain of stepping barefoot on a Lego.
That must have been the inspiration behind the new “Sportiletto.”

My take: Feet and Legos have never got along. They should not try to play, or it looks something hideous like this…
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007420440,00.html

Oh, it’s not make-up?
http://www.iwanexstudio.com/
So that’s how the celebs look so perty. Beware, this Web site is addictive. Click on “portfolio” to see stars before and after touch-ups.
As for me… well, I need to learn Photoshop. I think there’s a market to touch up myspace photos. No?

Bullet belt — If you are feeling punk and not subtle about it whatsoever, strap on a belt made from (what else?) bullet shells. Bullet belts at www.studsandspikes.com start at only $18.27. Luckily, the shells are emptied of gun powder, or that could be disastrous if you hit your hip on the corner of the table. For a bit more cash ($53.90), you can get your bullets pink:  
If you’re going to wear artillery, I say this is the way to go.  Except you have to buy it from www.crustpunks.com, and anything that includes the word “crust” makes me cautiously repulsed.

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I once bought a pair of shoes because their brand was ”Aimee.” I never wore them again. I just liked having shoes with my name on them. Like they were made for me.

My BFF Brittany wants us to get this matching dress because of its name:
www.greatglam.com/pd_bff.cfm
Not bad.

Then we ran across this piece of foil, otherwise called the “Brittany” skirt, on the same page:

www.greatglam.com/pd_brittany_silver.cfm

Bad idea.
Although it would look cute with my Aimee shoes…

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