Fashion19 Dec 2012 10:42 am

My sis-in-law recently taught me about Square Breast Syndrome. You know, the look of one square, flat breast because you keep your cell phone in your bra. Apparently, the 90-pound handbag that we all tote around is not sufficient enough space to stash our phones. Apparently, neither are pockets. Apparently, this a common enough trend a special bra designed for this purpose. It’s called the JoeyBra.


Tawkon explains this trend
:
Some women do it so they don’t lose their phone in a club. Others do it to keep it steady during a workout. Still other women keep their cell phones tucked inside their bras all day long – at the office, school, wherever – for the convenience of proximity.

OK, so we can’t even be disconnected for long enough to exercise. I get it. But a recent announcement indicates that — in addition to giving you weird square boobs — keeping your phone in your bra may be actually hazardous to your health.

“Could where you carry your cell phone make you sick? Some doctors say they’re seeing evidence of breast cancer that could be linked to where some women keep their mobile phones.”

One woman, Donna Jaynes, believes cell phone radiation ultimately contributed to her breast cancer.

What do you think? Do you carry your phone in your bra?

Note to self: Carry a thick, lead-lined bag; don’t sleep with phone on nightstand inches from brain; don’t put phone in pockets; don’t let kid play with phone; always use a headset; throw phone into toilet and flush repeatedly; run away and become Amish.

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Fashion06 Nov 2012 02:58 pm

No need to be 18 and up for this post.

I was driving down 28th Street today and saw THE most beautiful black and white polka-dot retro-style dress in the window of this store I drove past. It was so adorable that I slammed on the brakes and did an illegal U-turn. It wasn’t until I turned into the parking lot that I realized I was in hot pursuit of an item for sale in an  ”adult store.”

After they checked my ID at the door, just past the penis-shaped pasta, I ran across a jaw-dropping spread (I’m struggling to write this without offensive puns) of fashion items for really good prices. Stunning jewelry. Quirky handbags. Some of the most beautiful dresses I’ve ever seen in Boulder. And the shoes — the shoes! If these are modern stripper shoes, then please, give me a pole and some loud Bon Jovi.

You won’t believe me when I say that all of the items below were spotted today at Fascinations in Boulder.

So, hey, personal trainers at the Workout Studio located above Fascinations: Stop judging me. I’m looking for a new fancy dress to wear to dinner. And no, we will not be serving penis pasta.

 

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Fashion26 Apr 2012 04:11 pm

I wrote a story about the Bodacious Beauty when it first opened in December, and I revisited it today at its permanent home in the Twenty Ninth Street Mall.

Word on the street was it was the pinkest, most beautiful place in Boulder.

Word was right.

Even if you don’t want your picture taken, or you don’t like makeup or lingerie, and you don’t wear a bra (chances are you are not reading this blog), it’s worth a visit to just bask in the oh so bodacious beauty of this store.

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As seen...26 Apr 2012 03:50 pm

I spent my morning with Boulder assemblage artist Patricia Chapman (thepatstudio.com), and I would not leave her house because I wanted to take a photo of every object on her walls.
I mean, a taxidermy lion head 3-D collage with a mouse on its head?
Come on.
The actual story will go live on the Camera’s site next week, and run in Friday’s entertainment section.
But here’s a sneak peak of why I’m so excited — and my own collage of her collages and assemblages.

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Fun10 Apr 2012 04:26 pm
Thanks to “Seinfeld,” there’s Festivus for the rest of us around Christmas, but what escape does a gal have from the stench of hard-boiled Easter eggs and the temptation of entire mammals carved out of chocolate, a cruel few weeks before swimsuit season starts?
Preaster, that’s what.
Pre-Easter Holi, or Preaster if you want to sound in the know, is a make-believe holiday that I celebrate with my Hindu friends before, after or in the general vicinity of Easter and the Hindu holiday of Holi.
Instead of the Festivus Feats of Strength, Preaster brings the Altering of Board Games. Hungry, Hungry Hippos is bedazzled, bestickered and mutilated. Twister is rewritten, using body parts like “solar plexus” and “sacrum” instead of the predictable “left foot.” Terrible, terrible things happen to Candyland and Jenga.
Instead of the Airing of Grievances, Preaster brings the Airing of Contradictions. Cristal champagne is sinfully consumed from cheap plastic cups and chased with PBR and (vegetarian) corndogs. Formal gowns with above-the-elbow gloves are worn to the diviest bar you can find (hint: Longmont) (duh), where the altered games are publicly played.
It’s an awful fake holiday, really. Very disgusting.
Is it a mockery of how society blindly follows traditions, such as hiding pink eggs in a field, with no understanding of the historical or religious symbolism? Oh, no. Preaster’s traditions have zero significance and were created via a few random text messages one day while I was unloading the dishwasher.
I am now hungover from corndogs (a sentence I wish I never had to say), and trying to recover from the experience of putting my solar plexus on blue, while keeping my latisimus dorsi on red.
I hope you all had a jolly Easter, Holi, generic Sunday or Preaster for the, er, beast of us.
Formal gowns at a dive bar and This Game, which we incidentally did not need to alter at all.
Formal gowns at a dive bar and This Game, which we incidentally did not need to alter at all.
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Fun06 Apr 2012 02:22 pm

Happy Easter, or to the easily offended among us, happy totally generic weekend.
I come bearing awesome.

First, the news:

We have finally hired a features editor (Dave Burdick, yes, again, he was editor a few years ago, and he’s the best of the best). This means I will be able to write more again. When I found this out, I wept one single dramatic tear of joy.  I assume you are weeping now, as well. Get a hold of yourself.

Second, here are some pictures of horrified children at the recent Rock Creek Easter egg hunt. Photos by one of my favorite local photogs and the ever entertaining Darcy Sherman.
Have a JOYFUL Easter.

  

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Fashion24 Jan 2012 04:00 pm

My column on Feb. 3 is about my addiction to the Front Range Flea Market Mercantile in Longmont.
Here are some of my favorite finds in the shop, as of Friday, Jan. 20. Remember, it’s a flea market, so things sell and are not replaced.

Old wooden Philco radio, $39

Orange washboard, $6.95

Metal sign, $11.50

Schlitz metal beer tray, $14

Orange and cream vintage hat with old hat holder, $12.95

Old ceramic cookie jar, $10

Black side table, file cabinet style, $98

Vintage floral chair, $15

Vintage Fitzgerald advertising clock shaped like a key, works, $28

Old step fold-out ladder, $12

Blue wall cabinet, $32Old children's school desk, $24

Vintage French-style nightstand, $35

Word sign ($34) and metal frame ($28)

Green "smoke stand," $39.99, great for a little cupboard in a bathroom.

 

White wall hooks, $5 each

 

 

 

 

 

Awesome old phone, gold and cream: $20

 

 

Shabby chic picture frame, $12.50, off-white.

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Fashion24 Jan 2012 03:16 pm

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News22 Dec 2011 09:55 pm
From my interview with Samir Heffley, who is on the board of directors for the nonprofit Osho Meditation Center in Boulder. 

“If you are able to give yourself enough time some time to just be alone with yourself, even for seven days, you will be astonished at how difficult it is. And then you will understand a very important thing: a lot of times we make our lives so busy because we’re quite afraid to be alone.”

“It’s a beautiful thing to really meet the truth of who you are, and it’s so liberating. And then you start being less and less afraid, which is huge. There’s so much fear in the world. Not just surface things, like what if I lose my job or what’s happening to the planet, but when you face the fundamental fear inside yourself of your aloneness, your whole relationship to fear changes in the world.”

News22 Dec 2011 09:43 pm

Interested in learning more about silence and solitude than just my article (scheduled to run Jan. 8)?

Here’s a behind-the-scenes glimpse at my notes.

Mary Aitoshi Casey II, of Boulder, owner of the Boulder Quest Center
www.BoulderQuest.com

“All of this stimulation is coming in, and if we don’t find time to quiet everything down, we don’t hear our own voice, that inner wisdom.”

“We’ve gotten so used to not hearing our inner voice because we’ve been trained not to, that we have to really consciously go there now.”

“I think we’ve actually lost the skill of being bored. Where, if we’re not hyper-stimulated, we feel like our life must be too plain. Where we bought into this story that hyper-communication is where you want to be all of the time. But that hyper state is only sustainable for about 45 minutes, maybe an hour and half. If you watch how they do it, the Secret Service, or lifeguards at the pool, you have to take breaks, because you can’t stay at the red alert stage. Without breaks, you become less effective and the creative part of your brain, the prefrontal cortex, shuts down.”

“Turn your chair away from your computer, and if you’re some place where you’re worried about being seen like you’re not doing anything, put a notebook in your hand and a pencil in the other and close your eyes like you’re thinking about something, but don’t think about anything. Anyone who sees you will assume you’re doing something productive — and they’re right! Rest is one of the best things you can do to improve your productivity.”

“We just forget how much we’re checking it. Like check these boxes: I check my e-mail while going to the bathroom. Um, I probably don’t need to do that. It takes me twice as long to walk home because I am texting while I am walking home. Yup. We just don’t realize that we’re spending all this time with our electronics — and then we wonder why we have no time.”

“Solitude. It’s your chance for yourself to talk to you. And you’re so worth that time. Think of all the people that we give time for their voices to talk to us, and what percentage of that time we give to ourselves. … If you took 100 percent of your listening time, maybe 1 percent — if you’re lucky — we devote to ourselves.”

“We’re like, yeah, I can take care of you and this and I can hold a job and have a baby and cook the meals and clean the house and do all these things. And for a day or a week, giving that much of yourself,  you can probably do it, and you probably feel really jazzed. But it will start to weigh on you and deplete you if you don’t take that solitude and get back in touch with why you share and give so much, and why you love the people that you love and that you’re giving for. We can forget that we love our children and husband and wives because we’re not listening to ourselves. All I do is do the laundry; I don’t love anything! What do you mean love? I don’t have time for that!”

“That’s that solitude piece. It’s where our new ideas come from and where our hopes and dreams take root and take form.”

“You have to know your own brain to know what it is that stimulates that sense of your inner voice being open and present and talking. It kind of makes your brain feel full. Like it’s, well, all lit up and glowy like a light bulb. Otherwise, the light is coming from the computer screen and not from inside you.”

“That solitude taps you into your wisdom, and that’s what you put out into world instead of putting out reactions. And then my reactions control my experience, rather than me creating my experience on purpose.”

“This is a time of year when people get really crazed, but then it’s also a time when they can see I did lose control of my experience here. It’s a great time for this message to come in. It gets old to do everything off of willpower.”

 

 

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